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Writer's pictureJanet Myatt

Understanding A Course in Miracles

Updated: Oct 29

What does Holy relationship mean in A Course in Miracles?


Understanding A Course in Miracles

The concept of a Holy relationship, as taught by Jesus in A Course in Miracles, is a profound and transformative idea that challenges our conventional understanding of relationships. It offers a new perspective on how we can experience love, healing, and spiritual growth through our interactions with others.

 

In A Course in Miracles, Jesus teaches that a Holy relationship is a relationship that is based on the principles of forgiveness, love, and the recognition of our shared divinity. It is a relationship that transcends the ego's need for specialness, control, and attachment. Instead, it is a relationship guided by the Holy Spirit, the divine Presence within us, that leads us to the truth.

 

The Course teaches that our relationships are opportunities for healing and awakening. It recognizes that our interactions with others often trigger our deepest fears, wounds, and unresolved issues. These triggers can lead to conflict, resentment, and a sense of separation. However, Jesus teaches that these triggers are not meant to perpetuate suffering but to bring our unconscious beliefs and patterns to the surface to heal them.  In a Holy relationship, we are invited to bring our fears and grievances to the Holy Spirit for healing. We are asked to let go of our judgments, grievances, and attachments and choose forgiveness and love instead. This does not mean we condone harmful behavior or become passive in the face of injustice. Rather, it means that we recognize the inherent worth and divinity in ourselves and others, and we choose to see beyond the ego's perception of separation and attack to arrive at a way of experiencing the world that is loving and holistic. 

 

Our ability to see the spiritual light in others has faded as we’ve become deeply rooted in a belief in a world of opposites: good versus bad, life versus death, love versus hate. This immersion in duality creates cognitive dissonance—a mental tension arising when we try to hold conflicting beliefs and values or confront new information that challenges existing beliefs. This inner conflict creates psychological discomfort as our minds struggle to reconcile opposites that seem mutually exclusive.


To alleviate this discomfort, we often project onto others the traits we wish to avoid in ourselves, reinforcing a division between 'good' and 'bad.' By labeling ourselves as ‘good’ and others as ‘bad,’ we create a sense of control and righteousness, but this habit also builds a foundation of fear and defensiveness in our interactions. Over time, as we continually shift who we consider ‘wrong’ or ‘undesirable,’ we end up feeling increasingly disconnected and uncertain, both in our relationships and within ourselves.


For instance, when we find agreement with someone, we feel secure, seeing others with different views as 'outside' the safety of our shared understanding. However, a later disagreement with that same person quickly disrupts this security, making the other person seem 'wrong,' eroding our sense of love and connection. This fluctuation between feeling safe and loved versus unsafe and unloved reinforces our belief in separation. Instead of questioning this divisive mindset, we reinforce it, missing the opportunity to perceive the unity beyond our mental divisions.

 

A Holy relationship is a commitment to healing and awakening. It is a partnership with God in which individuals support each other's spiritual growth and transformation. It is a way of being in relationship with others that is based on honesty, vulnerability, and a willingness to look at our own shadows. And to see past the shadow in others to the light and love within them.  It is a relationship that invites us to let go of our masks and defenses and truly see and be seen.

 

In a Holy relationship, we learn to communicate from a place of love and understanding. We learn to listen deeply to each other's needs and concerns and seek to find common ground and shared purpose. We recognize that our differences are opportunities for growth and learning rather than sources of conflict and division.

 

The Course teaches that a Holy relationship is not limited to romantic partnerships. It can be experienced in any relationship, whether with a friend, family member, coworker, or even a stranger. It is a way of relating to others guided by the principles of forgiveness, love, and the recognition of our shared divinity.

 

At its core, a Holy Relationship teaches us that relationships aren’t meant to satisfy the ego’s desire for specialness, validation, or security. Instead, they serve as pathways to awaken and heal our minds, reminding us of the indivisible wholeness and equality within the Sonship of God. These relationships offer us the chance to rediscover our true spiritual nature and to extend the love within us by forgiving ourselves and others for misperceptions of the world, our connection to God, and one another.

 

In conclusion, the concept of a Holy relationship, as taught by Jesus in A Course in Miracles, offers a profound and transformative understanding of how we can experience love, healing, and spiritual growth through our relationships. It invites us to let go of our ego's attachments and judgments and to choose forgiveness, love, and the recognition of our shared divinity. It is a path of awakening and transformation that can lead us to a deeper sense of peace, joy, and fulfillment in our relationships and in our lives.


Exciting news! In 2025, I’ll be launching a new ACIM class, Learning Holy Relationship. Sign up for my mailing list now to be the first to hear updates and secure your spot!

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