One of the biggest obstacles to happiness, is our subconscious pattern of assigning functions to others, the world, and even ourselves. We have all sorts of unconscious agreements set up in our mind. Things like..."if my child is happy, healthy, and successful, I'll feel happy, fulfilled, and validated as a parent." However, when the child is unable to fulfill their function in the way we need them to, we are unhappy and the child is also unhappy. Empowerment comes when we realize that experiencing happiness, fulfillment, and validation comes from within us. It cannot be assigned to others. And, others will have to learn where the source of their happiness lies too, as we will not be able fulfill that function for them either.
When we learn to forgive others for being unable to fulfill the functions we assigned them, happiness bubbles up inside us! We are free at last to choose how we want to feel regardless of what is going on around us. When we also forgive ourselves for believing happiness was dependent upon how things were going externally, we become truly and powerfully happy and fulfilled. We finally experience a quality of happiness and contentment that is stable and reliable because it comes from within us and is no longer dependent upon others to behave in any particular way.
This short video, gives an example of how this letting go process works.